---
title: 'Thoughts on Family Worship: J.W. Alexander on the Importance of Worship in the Home'
type: video
hasMedia: true
requiresPurchase: false
authors:
- 'Jonathan Master'
date: 2026-08-04
collection: 'Dead Presbyterians Society'
subcollection: 'Season 3'
topics:
- 'Devotional'
- 'Family Worship'
scriptures:
- 'Genesis 2'
- 'Genesis 8'
- 'Genesis 35'
- 'Job 1'
- 'Acts 10'
- 'Acts 16'
- '3 John'
url: https://confessional.org/dead-presbyterians-society/season-3/thoughts-on-family-worship-j-w-alexander-on-the-importance-of-worship-in-the-home
---

# Thoughts on Family Worship: J.W. Alexander on the Importance of Worship in the Home

In this episode of the Dead Presbyterians Podcast, we turn to J. W. Alexander’s classic Thoughts on Family Worship. Writing in 1847, Alexander shows that the worship of God begins in the home—through the simple, daily gathering of a household around Scripture and prayer. Faithful family worship quietly shapes parents, forms children who love the Lord, and strengthens the church for generations. A warm, pastoral call to recover this ordinary means of grace.

[Watch](https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/1215518142)

## Transcript

All Christians know that they are to go before the Lord individually in prayer and in the reading of Scripture. That's one of the ways that we grow as Christians. It's also clear in the Scriptures that we're to gather together in public worship with the Church of Jesus Christ, lifting our praises and hearing from God's Word.

But what about with our families? Is there a biblical mandate for worshiping God with our families? Greetings from the past. Welcome to Dead Presbyterian Society. I'm Jonathan Master.

I serve as president of Greenville Seminary. All Christian parents can relate to what the Apostle John writes in 3 John 4, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. That's what we want from Christian families, children who are walking with the Lord, who are clinging closely to Jesus Christ, who are leaning on His Word in their everyday life.

And James Waddell Alexander reminds his readers that the worship of Christ begins in the home, in the morning and evening gathering of a household to read God's Word and lift their prayers together before Him. He wrote a little book called Thoughts on Family Worship, and it emerged from the pen of a theologically trained pastor who had spent years watching faith either take root in the lives of young people who are raised in Christian homes or wither in the context of families under his pastoral care. James Waddell Alexander believed that the future of the Church is quietly decided long before believers ever enter the sanctuary.

The home and how the home worships God throughout the entire week is of vital importance in the growth and health of the Christian Church. Now to understand why James Alexander speaks with such urgency and confidence about the worship of the Christian household, we need to pause and look at the man himself. James Waddell Alexander was a remarkable man.

He was born in 1804 in Louisa County, Virginia. He was the eldest son of someone whom we've mentioned before on this program, the Reverend Archibald Alexander, who was the founding professor at Princeton Theological Seminary, and he grew up in Philadelphia and then in Princeton, New Jersey after his father's appointment in 1812. So James Waddell Alexander would have been eight years old when his father began at Princeton Seminary.

He was educated at the College of New Jersey in Princeton and at Princeton Theological Seminary, where his father served as a professor. He was licensed to preach by the Presbytery of New Brunswick in 1824, and he served in pastoral ministry in Charlotte County, Virginia from 1826 to 1828, and then at the First Presbyterian Church of Trenton, New Jersey from 1829 to 1832. He married in 1830, and he and his wife Elizabeth had seven children together.

And in 1833, he was appointed as the professor of rhetoric at the College of New Jersey. He served as a pastor again at Duane Street Presbyterian Church in New York City from 1844 to 1849, and again from 1851 after its relocation as Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church. And then he went back into the classroom at Princeton Theological Seminary in 1849, served there till 1851 as professor of ecclesiastical history and church government.

And he was a prolific writer throughout most of his ministry, both his pastoral ministry and his ministry at the college and then at the seminary. He died in 1859 at the age of 55 and was buried at the Princeton Cemetery in Princeton, New Jersey. His grave can be visited to this day.

Now, the book of his that we're going to be looking at today is entitled Thoughts on Family Worship. And I want to begin with a definition that Alexander gives near the beginning of the book. Here's what he writes.

Family worship, as the name imports, is the joint worship rendered to God by all the members of one household. Now, what he seeks to do at the beginning is to clarify what family worship is in that definition and what it is not. He makes it clear that family worship is not the same thing as private devotion, and it is certainly not a substitute for public worship.

So he has three categories. He has private devotion, our individual devotional life before the Lord, public worship, which is of the utmost importance all Christians are enjoined to join in public worship, but also family worship. It's a distinct and necessary form of worship in which the household, a household that is a Christian household, a household under God, comes before God together.

Now, what Alexander does near the where it is in the scriptures that we see warrant for family worship. But before this, he talks about the nature of prayer. Prayer, he says, is by definition a communal exercise.

Yes, we can pray privately and we're commanded to pray privately, but it's not simply a private exercise. If believers truly love one another and truly love God, they will inevitably be drawn to worship and pray together. Now, how does he root family worship in the scriptures? That might be the first question we should ask.

Is this something that is in the Bible? And it happens to be one of the first questions that Alexander seeks to answer. He says that actually we can see family worship all the way back in creation. The family is the oldest human institution as God brings Adam and Eve together in the garden.

It's established by God. Marriage is established by God. And so he infers from this that if God is dealing with a family from the beginning, then worship should belong at the center of family life.

Now, he builds this case even further as he moves through Genesis when he speaks of Noah. Noah, as you'll remember in Genesis chapter eight, builds an altar to the Lord and he does this with his family. In fact, Alexander addresses this and labels it a family sacrifice that Noah engages in.

Jacob's altar at Bethel is a family monument and it is marked by his command, Jacob's command, to his entire household to put away their false gods and prepare to worship the Lord. That's in Genesis 35. We see this with Noah, we see this with Jacob, and we see this with Job.

Again, dating Job is notoriously difficult, but Job probably lived during the time of the patriarchs and Job is an especially clear case of someone who engaged in family worship. We know that Job, as the spiritual head of his home, rose early and continually offered sacrifices on behalf of his children, mindful of their souls before God. And Alexander argues these are not isolated incidents.

These aren't one-offs. These aren't outliers. In fact, what they reflect is a settled pattern in which heads of households understood themselves to be responsible for leading their families in worship.

And Alexander argues that this is not simply an Old Testament phenomenon. We see this in the New Testament. He cites particularly Cornelius' example.

Cornelius is a centurion who is described as fearing God, but he doesn't fear God alone. He fears God with all his house. And when Peter is sent to him, very notably in Acts 10, when Peter is sent to Cornelius, Cornelius gathers his household to hear the word of the Lord together.

The gospel advances not only through individuals, but through families bound together in shared devotion. We see this as well with the Philippian jailer. When he hears the gospel, he brings his family together.

And so this pattern of this head of the household bringing his family together for the worship of the Lord, for instruction from God's word, for prayer, is something that is found in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Alexander also goes on to show that this is a pattern that we see throughout church history. Here's what he writes.

The universal voice of the best periods has been in favor of family worship. It's a practice that is consistently affirmed whenever the church has been most faithful, most alive, and most serious about godliness. Then Alexander points us to the Westminster Confession of Faith, 21.6, which states, God is to be worshiped everywhere in spirit and in truth as in private families daily and in secret each one by himself.

Now notice that distinction. God is to be worshiped everywhere in secret, of course, as individuals by themselves go before the Lord in prayer and hearing from scripture, but also as in private families daily. And so Alexander presses his readers, he presses us to see that family worship belongs alongside personal prayer and public worship as part of ordinary Christian life.

It's not an added burden for especially devout households, perhaps the households of pastors, but it is a basic expression of a living faith. Where God is honored daily in the home, Christian belief is strengthened at its roots. And then, of course, as a corollary to this, when family worship disappears, the church should not be surprised that piety grows dim and fragile and often short-lived.

Alexander goes on to describe the particular influences that family worship has on individuals and on families as a whole. And first he describes how it shapes the individual piety of those who participate in family worship. He reminds readers again that Christianity is not purely a private affair.

When we say our father, we are taught that our religion is social, Alexander writes. Faith presses outward toward others and especially toward those who are closest to us. And that's why Alexander can write this.

It is a monstrous thing for a man to spend a lifetime in the midst of fellow human beings without ever feeling or acting towards them in a religious capacity. And this is especially true, we might add, in the home. Here's what he writes as an observation from his own pastoral ministry.

Observation shows that families which have no household worship are at a low ebb in spiritual things. That families where it is performed in a cold, sluggish, negligent, or hurried way are little affected by it and little affected by any means of grace. And that families where God is worshipped every morning and evening by all the inmates of the house in a solemn and affectionate service are blessed with increase of piety and happiness.

Now this is an observation, and of course we can find exceptions. God, in his mercy and in his grace, often blesses far beyond the efforts that any parents might make in this area. But nonetheless, the pattern seems to hold true.

Alexander seems to think, at least in his pastoral ministry, that this pattern is pronounced. He writes, when family worship is faithful and heartfelt, every individual is blessed. Each one receives a portion of the heavenly food.

And that's what he begins to articulate as he unpacks the great benefits of family worship for the family. Family worship sustains believers through the ordinary demands of daily life. Daily life can be difficult.

We all face temptations. We all face challenges. And he notes that such acts of domestic worship are among the sweetest enjoyments of the poor man's life.

That is, someone may have all kinds of difficulties in his life. He may have all kinds of struggles, financial struggles, relational struggles, struggles with work. But this is a great delight.

He thus has ensured to him a stock of truth for the reflections of the whole day. Sons and daughters who leave the home to perhaps pursue education or to go to work, as many did in his day, have some remembrance of God. And when they return for the evening, they do so with the expectation of once again receiving a means of grace that gives, quote, each individual a new impulse towards the goal.

He says family worship has this effect of shaping the entire tone of the Christian life. It makes religion, it makes our faith a matter of, he says, everyday interest. It refuses this notion that our faith is confined to Sundays, to times of public worship, to special occasions.

And this has an influence even on those who might neglect their own private individual devotion. When the family gathers morning and evening to worship, each member is brought face to face with God and is compelled, at least momentarily, to face eternal realities. Here's what he writes.

A word fitly spoken at such a time is an apple of gold. A psalm rightly chosen and sung with the spirit and understanding may bear up all hearts to God. It does not require eloquence.

It does not require brilliant insights. It does not require extensive theological training. But what it requires, he says, is sincerity, reverence, and faithfulness.

He puts it this way. It must be approached as if we were going to the very feet of Christ. But secondly, he says, not only does it have an influence on everyone, it has a special influence on parents.

Family worship shapes parents, and especially it shapes fathers. In fact, he addresses much of his instruction to fathers in particular. He puts it this way.

In order to educate the children of a land, we must first educate the parents. And if an institution were demanded for this special purpose, it would be impossible to find one comparable to family worship. This is not simply for children to grow in the faith, although it is designed in that way.

It is a divinely appointed means by which parents themselves are trained and corrected and strengthened in their walk with Christ. And particularly, as I mentioned, fathers. He says, no one can approach the duty of leading his household in an act of devotion, he's speaking to fathers, without solemn reflection on the place which he occupies in regard to them.

He is their head. He is such by a divine and unalterable constitution. These are duties and prerogatives which he cannot alienate.

So this is a call to Christian fathers. You have a particular role in your family. It is established by God.

It is clearly outlined in the Scriptures. And family worship accentuates this role. It makes it very clear that you are the head of the household.

You are responsible in large measure for the nurture and instruction of your children, of your whole family. He writes this, no act of his, that is the father's, and nothing in his character can fail to leave a mark on those around him. In other words, whether you accept these responsibilities or not, what you do will leave a mark on your children.

And so he urges all Christian fathers to leave a godly mark on their children by engaging in family worship. He notes that sometimes in the Bible, fathers are looked at as having a kind of priestly role. He said it can sometimes feel like a burden, sometimes lie like a burden at his heart, and it will sometimes swell within his affections like wine which hath no vent.

In other words, fathers are aware in some measure of this kind of pressure that is put upon them, a godly burden that's placed upon their shoulders to instruct and care for their children. Because his entire family looks up to him for guidance, Alexander says that among all these, there is not one for whom he shall not give account at the judgment seat of Christ. Fathers are responsible for their children.

Fathers are accountable for their children. He goes on to write this, the wife of his youth, to whom shall she look for spiritual watch if not to him? The children? If ever saved, it will probably be in some degree consequent on his exertions. If his conscience is kept awake by personal acquaintance with God, he will never enter upon family worship without sentiments which involve this very accountability, and such sentiments cannot but have their impression on the parental character.

Over time, he says fathers exert a deep influence on their children, and family worship exerts a great influence on the father. The father, he writes, who year after year presides in the sacred domestic assembly, submits himself to an influence which is incalculably strong on his own parental character. He writes this, establish the worship of God in any house, and you erect around it a new barrier against the interruption of the world, the flesh, and the devil.

Now this means that he also gives warnings to fathers in particular. He says Christian parents need to keep in mind that their children all have immortal souls. Prayerless parents, he says, have cause to tremble, and yet his aim is not despair.

His aim is not discouragement, but hope. Faithful family worship reshapes the father, reshapes the children. So doing, he writes, he will be not only a better man, but a better father.

He will love his children more and more wisely. Then, of course, there is the great influence of family worship on children. It leaves a deep and lasting mark upon them.

He writes this, from the very dawn of reason, each little one grows up with a feeling that God must be honored in every little thing. In other words, this is not just a Sunday thing. This worship of God, this adherence to God, this following of Christ matters for every aspect of life.

No business of life can proceed without him, and that the day's work or study would be unsheltered, disorderly, and in a matter profane, but for this consecration. So what are the means of family worship? Well, the necessary means, he says, are prayer and the reading of Scripture, because prayer stands at the heart of family worship. He says one of the great benefits of it is that children are simply prayed for.

The chief benefits to children is that they are the subjects of such prayer. As the great topics of the parent's heart is his offspring, so they will be his great burden at the throne of grace. So when children hear their parents interceding before God on their behalf, it awakens in them an affection and a seriousness and a growing awareness that their lives matter eternally.

And then alongside prayer, he points to the daily reading of Scripture. He calls it one of the most powerful agencies in the Christian life, just daily scriptural meditation with your children. The most heedless child, he writes, must observe and retain some portion of the sacred articles.

Will your children remember everything that's said at family worship? Of course not. But some portion of the sacred oracles. The most forgetful must treasure up some passages for life.

No part of juvenile education is more important. And he notes that oftentimes children, as they grow older and they've been subjected to this pattern of prayer and Scripture, have their consciences shaped by it. They ask questions like, how can I offend against the father who daily wrestles with God on my behalf? How can I be careless about the soul with which he is so concerned? Family worship also deepens the attachment that children have to their home.

The house of our childhood is always lovely, but the presence of the almighty protector makes it a sanctuary. Now, Alexander's a realist. He understands human nature.

He understands that these things are difficult and they often seem mundane. As difficult as they are, they often seem to make very little difference. And so he encourages parents to persevere.

He writes, It is by repetition of perpetual patient touches, small in themselves, that lasting habits are formed. Just as a gardener trains a vine or an engraver produces an image through countless tiny strokes, that image of family worship as countless tiny strokes is a great encouragement. In so precious a work, nothing is unimportant.

We must give heed to the minutest influences. And he reminds parents that every instance where they approach God in prayer, where they open God's word, they are having direct approach to God, most high and thus a means of saving the souls of their children. And what a blessing this is.

He writes this most earnestly. It is to be desired that those who have been baptized, who have been catechized, who have been during all their youth embraced in the circle of domestic prayer should now, when themselves placed at the head of families, carry forth this blessed institution. In other words, children then do this same thing.

They enact this same thing when they are given their own families. This book, this little book, is simple, but it is searching. No one among us can say that we have done this perfectly.

In fact, many may, in fact, look back on their lives with their children in the home and say we neglected family worship. But note this, Alexander is not asking us to invent a new program or to recover a lost technique, but to return to something very simple, the worship of God in the ordinary rhythms of the Christian home. It's not meant to be a marginal practice for unusual homes, but a central means by which God shapes individual faith, forms parents in their calling, and impresses eternal truths on the hearts of children.

It is built on daily faithfulness, not something extraordinary, not something that may look impressive in the eyes of the world, but scripture read, prayers, perhaps singing, habits that are formed slowly over time. This is one of the chief ways that God works, sometimes silently, sometimes apparently marginally, below the surface in the lives of Christians. And so this raises a number of questions.

What does your attitude towards family worship reveal about your priorities? If you say, I don't have time for this. Well, what does that reveal about your priorities? I can't be bothered with this. Well, what does that say if this is not of significant importance? We could also ask this, are you relying on the church to sustain a faith that is rarely exercised at home? If the worship of the Lord, if the reading of scripture, of prayer, is not something that's part of your home life, are you simply leaning on the church to foster that in your children? If your children were to imitate your spiritual habits, what would that mean for them? Are you more concerned with your children's success, their temporal success, their worldly success, their material success, than their souls? What would it change if prayer and scripture were treated as necessities in your home rather than occasional additions? Alexander shows us how family worship matters, but he also raises a question for us.

Are we willing to recover it and see that God delights in using ordinary means for eternal ends? Now, I want to say this again. The point of this, the point of his book, is not to make parents feel guilty, particularly parents who now are beyond the opportunity to engage in family worship with their children. What should you do at this point? Well, you should begin to engage in family worship with whoever it is that's in your household.

Maybe it is simply you and your wife. Well, now is the time to engage in family worship. Perhaps your children come to visit instead of the routine that they grew up with.

Instead, you say, we're going to open scripture, we're going to pray together. That marked difference may have a profound impact on them. And recognize, of course, that God is merciful.

God is faithful to work well beyond even the means that he has prescribed for us. But for those who have children in the home, however many years left you may have with them, what is your vision for your home? What is your vision for your children? There's a bigger picture here, a whole view of people growing in godliness even after they leave the home and having those habits developed in their earliest years.